Majesty

Today we sang this song in big church and the lyrics just resonated within my soul.

Majesty (Here I Am)

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Forever I have been changed and am continuing to be changed by the indescribable love of Jesus Christ.

To Build Or Not To Build That Is The Question

I often see people at their work or talk about their work like it’s the worst thing in the world. They loath the very moment that they think about stepping into their work place. Now I have had some jobs over the years that I did not like in the least, and some of my greatest times of growth have come from those jobs, but the other night I was reminded how nice it is to do a job that you truly enjoy.
While at home I do construction. I started working construction after dropping out of community college and I have worked construction for five or six years now. I had even been running my own small little business for a year and a half before coming to school at Simpson. Now I like to work with my hands and I like to build things so I enjoyed construction but I knew the whole time this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. However, I made good money doing construction, especially when it came to running my own business and because of such I was rather content to stay in this line of work. If it wasn’t for a little intervention from God I would still be doing it today.
The other day was a nice little reminder of going back to school to purse youth ministry was the right decision to make in my life. I have spent my break working for an old boss of mine doing some cake finish work for a house he is building. For me this is about as easy as work gets. But it only took two days for me to already not want to get up and go to work. After two days of work I was ready to be done with this. The day this happened the high school group from my church I help out with did an event where we drove around and gave out scarf’s and gift baskets to men and women who had lost a loved one this last year. I realized while driving around with a bunch of high schoolers that this is what I love doing. I love spending time with a bunch of crazy awkward loud mischievous fun-loving high schoolers. I love working with people, especially high school and college age students. This is something that I am excited to do and look forward to helping out with way more than I look forward to the next day of work, even though I don’t get paid. Don’t get me wrong I do like construction for the most part, and I have my days that I don’t love youth ministry, but as a whole youth ministry is where my passion lies.
Now youth ministry is far far more than just “hanging out with students”. There is much more that goes on behind the scenes that people never even realize happens. I was reminded that this is what I truly love doing and am passionate about. I know that youth ministry will never pay well finically nor will I rarely receive the respect that it often deserved but I love it. I am reminded how important it is to do something that you love rather than doing something that pays lots of money. It’s absolutely amazing to be able to glorify God just by using my gifts and passions to do what I love.
This reminds me of the words of Gil Bailie "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." We all need to find something that makes us come alive. I feel that as Christians we often make the mistake that if we are not in ministry than we are serving God. We often have this idea that those in ministry are doing all the work and the rest of us are just skating by. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I know for me youth ministry does not necessarily mean that I will become a youth pastor, it could work as a high school guidance counselor, or I could work as an RD of college even if it’s not Christian, or one of many other areas. What does matter is that we are using our gifts and abilities to glorify God wherever we are. I would encourage everyone to find out what their gifts and passions are and find a way to use those to glorify God because there is no better place to be. It is in that place that we find lasting joy and satisfaction in who we are and what we do.

The Adam Effect

So I had quite the amazing night last night. Feeling kinda ancy and slightly bored, which is quite common when there is snow in the air, I decided to go for a drive. I ended up driving about twenty minutes north into the mountains out of the city. There I pulled off the road and just enjoyed watching it snow. Add a little music and this turned into a great time of worship and prayer, just sitting in my car with snow falling around me. It was absolutely amazing.
While worshiping I realized that there has been some joy that has been missing in my life. It is an amazing feeling to just be overflowing with the joy of God everywhere you go. Now there is lots of joy in my life, but it’s different to just be overflowing the joy of God constantly.
As I’m praying about this I began to think how this last month and a half has been filled with so much stress and pressure. I also began to realize as I thought about it, it has been full of spiritual attack. Many people are quick to attribute spiritual attack to Satan trying to bring us down. I think there is much more to spiritual attack than just the advances of Satan and his army, but this is another topic for another day. You can attribute this to Satan, demons, my own flesh, or my own bent humanity, however you want to look at it I sat here faced with my own humanity and sin.
I often feel like we are all like Paul. We all have a thorn in our side. We all have at least one thing in our lives that is a constant struggle, which when we give into will ultimately lowers our own self worth. It is always interesting to me to hear the stories of people who have struggled with things all their life, become a Christian and pray for it to be healed and its gone. These seem to be extremely rare cases but as for the rest of us we are left with this vice, which we struggle with.
This might be a bit of stretch but I think that Satan’s plan is more than to just make us sin. Satan’s plan is to make us feel shame, guilt, and destroy our self worth. This sin is trivial compared to the result of that sin. The more we feel shame, guilt, and a lack of self worth, the more we begin to not just feel it but to believe that. The problem with all of these feelings and thoughts is that these cause us to separate ourselves from God. As Christians, God will never leave us or forsake us, so the only way for us to be torn down is for us to attempt separate ourselves from God. Satan wants the Adam Effect all over again. Adams first reaction after eating the fruit in the garden was to feel shame, guilt, and to hide from God.
I feel like our vice can be a double edge sword. There can be good that can comes from it. Through our struggling I feel that God is looking for a response. God wants us to be dependent upon him. Now this may seem extremely rudimentary but that is exactly why it is so essential. The reason that Jesus was sinless and our perfect atoning sacrifice was not because he followed a set list of rules; Christ was perfect because he lived in perfect unity with God. He did nothing apart from the leading of his father. Jesus was dependent on his father for every breath he took, every step he walked, every person that was healed was not because Jesus could but because it was the leading and will of his father. God wants this same response from us. He wants us to be utterly dependent upon him for everything we have in our lives. When we sin we can either hid in guilt and shame or we can run back to God realizing that we need God and we are dependent on Him for everything. Our sin can drive us from God, or they can cause us to run to God.
I began to realize the times that I have freedom from my vices are the times I am broken and dependent upon God. God wants us to be in a place of dependence on him for everything. I feel like the loss of joy in my life is not simply because of sin or attack but from a loss of dependence upon God for everything in my life. While this is not what I had imagined would come from this night and this may seem so basic to holy Christian living, this was a great reassurance to me and a gentle leading back to the leading and a dependence on God. I can say writing this the next day that the joy is filling once again.

Ambient Light

When beginning this blog I feel that I should stat with why I chose Ambient Light as the title for this.
It is interesting, the name ambient light is a term I have used for several years. I have even named my business Ambient Light, but as funny as it sounds I have never really understood why. I guess it sounded cool but I could never figure out why I liked this name so much. It has only come in the last couple of days that I have been able to figure out why I like this name so much. Ambient light is really about God’s mission for our lives today.
Ambient
- Adjective
1. Of the surrounding area or environment.
The temperature in the display case was twenty degrees lower than the ambient temperature
2. Completely surrounding
When I think of something that is ambient it is something that completely surrounds you, whether it is temperature, light, darkness, or even smell. When something is ambient it completely surrounds you and there is no getting away from it.
The definition of Light is pretty obvious, there is light or there is darkness. The interesting thing about darkness is that darkness is the absence of light. The other thing about light is that light always casts shadows. Realistically there isn't anywhere you can go where you will not be affected by shadows and darkness. Even if you where to stand in a room full of spot lights there would still be shadows under your feet, you just wouldn’t be able to see them. There are always elements of darkness in this world, and the darkness is good at hiding. As people there is part of us that will always like the darkness and shadows. We all live in darkness until we are exposed to the light. When we are exposed to the light it is hard to go back to the darkness. We may retreat into the darkness out of fear or stubbornness, or lack of caring, but once we are exposed to the light we are never the same again. Once we see the light it is hard to go back to the darkness and be content with that. Once we have felt the warmth of the light and have our eyes opened we are forever changed.
When I think of what ambient light really is, it is a light that completely surrounds us. This is a light that shines on every part of us. This light exposes all the darkness that is on us or in us, even in the places that no one would think to look. All of our flaws and imperfections are brought into the light. We are left naked and exposed with nothing but the light.
This light however is not an impersonal blinding light. It is a warm light. When I think of this light I think of what it is like to bask in the spring sun, after being in the winter clouds and rain for so long, to step out into the sun and just soak in its warmth and radiance. It fills my soul and puts life into my being. This light does not expose our darkness so that we might be embarrassed, but this light exposes our darkness to fill those places. When we are exposed to this ambient light, it fills all the dark spaces of our life and soul so that there is no room for the darkness. When we are in this ambient light we are complete and lack nothing.
This is exactly the author of the book of John is saying in John 1:4 “In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it”. The key idea is that the light is the one who gives life. We are given life by the light’s ability to shine until there is no more darkness. Now an entire book could just be written on this concept but what I think is important is that Jesus Christ is the light that brings life aka salvation to all men. Jesus’ light is not a condemning light but a light that brings life to us by filling all the dark spaces with his light so that we might have eternal life with him and have a full life here on this earth. Jesus is this ambient light that surrounds us till there is nothing but him. What we have to do is we need to stop hiding in the darkness and step out into and embrace Christ’s light. Now this is obviously easier said than done, but without the light we are all stumbling around in the darkness completely and utterly lost with no way out. This is where God’s mission for us comes in.
We are to first let the light shine into our own lives. Second we are now modern day John the Baptist. John 1:7-8 “He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.” We are now the witnesses pointing others to the light. We are reflections of the light for others, so that other might be able to see, believe, and inherit eternal life.
I believe that this is part of what it means to be apart of God’s mission. We need to live by embracing the ambient light that is Jesus Christ and we need to reflect this light to others. We need to let our light shine for all to see. We need to spread the warmth of the love of God so that all may come out of the darkness into the light. We are not a light that is to judge others by pointing out all their sins, that is God’s job. We are pointing others to the way of the true light.
When we partake in God’s mission for humanity and become reflections of ambient light for others we are fulfilling God’s mission for our lives. God’s mission for humanity goes beyond this but this is a central ideal. This is God’s mission for us. We are to be reflecting the nature of Jesus by being ambient light to this world pointing others to the true light that can and will lead them out of the darkness in which they are so desperately lost. I want my life to be a life that is basking in the light and warmth of Jesus Christ and then to point others to that same light which I would be so desperately lost without.